Thoughts on being 50.

Last saturday, the morning of my 50th birthday, I awoke to a rainbow outside my window….the whole arch not just a curve!!

I also awoke to this….

(not usually allowed on the bed)

…he helped me open and dispose of the wrapping ….

from a ‘Lush’ honey scented parcel he had purchased earlier in the week!!

I did not want a fuss I wanted a normal extra relaxed happy day…and thats what i had….

The toh made my favourite brunch for me…

Then..

We walked and talked for 3 hours….glorious sunshine all the way…

The fields on our doorstep were busy busy busy….

the views were glorious….

BUT…

I was not intending to post about being fifty and how I felt about it…

Because I know I am being silly….

I know I am lucky to have reached this grand age…I am healthy and happy.

But do you know? it was very hard to be fifty Last Saturday.

I was tearful can you believe it?

It felt like New years eve…when you look back at the last year good or bad, and realise that another year has passed in a flash.

….for me 50 years have passed in a flash!

I love my life, my family, I love my job, I have no major worries…. so why oh why did i feel like this?

Maybe because I have less years left before me than those behind me healthy ones at least.

I want the button that says “pause” to be pressed now!!

I want to stay right here..in this warm october sunshine and know that every one I love is right here with me too….

Has anyone else had a 50th birthday and felt like this or is it just me???

Of course I cheered up later it was just a blip…..

There was dorset Cider to be drunk and the rest of the day to be enjoyed!!

and there were presents lots of presents….

so as usual

bestest to you all today

from

Daisy j x

Ps. when I eventually grow up I fancy living here!